In the future, I am planning to make a list of the masters of disguise in cinema. These are the people who have perfected the art of disguise that they can virtually become anybody they want.
But before I make that article, I will first compile the worst disguises in film history. I’m making this all because I really like it when a certain character in a film tries their best in keeping a disguise that they end up becoming conspicuous.
So let’s start the countdown:
5. Roger Moore from Octopussy – Alright, James Bond is supposed to be a super-spy and I like that about the character. He gets to go to different places, meet different women, become a totally different person altogether. But turning him into a clown was totally out there. Well, he was 56 when they made the film so maybe they were just trying hide his age.
4. Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love – I don’t mind a bit of crossdressing in the movies if it fits the narrative. In Shakespeare in Love, it was supposed to work. Back in the time of Shakespeare, people cross-dressed even if they didn’t mean it. But Gwyneth’s character turning into Thomas Kent was more fail that win in the disguise department.
3. Sean Connery in You Only Live Twice – What’s better than clown Bond? How about racist Bond? In the movie You Only Live Twice, Bond has to infiltrate an organization as a Japanese man. So what do they do? They gave him slitty eyes and the Spock hair. Hilarious.
2. Angelina Jolie in Salt – If you laughed at Gwyneth’s attempt to become a not-so-manly man in Shakespeare in love, you would probably go bananas over Angelina Jolie trying to look like your regular, please-don’t-notice-me-but-maybe-you-can army officer in Salt. It would have worked if not for the fact that the whole movie was about not getting noticed and she shows up as somebody with an obvious fake double-chin.
1. Christopher Reeve from Superman – I mean, who else can top the list for worst disguises? This guy slaps on a pair of eyeglasses, removes the gel from his hair and nobody notices him. Is it because in older times nobody really notices the 6-pack abs? Or was it because being clowny was more the disguise than the looks?